Nov 9, 2009

Hitting the wall

Today I ran four miles. First time in years I've run more than three. Today I actually, finally, did some prayer while I ran. I think I need to do more of each and especially of both together.

I have to make a confession. I have already made a confession to a priest, and I want to make one here too. It's been going on for months - too many months. I've been too consumed by (my) theology and (my) life. It's wearing me out, I've hit the wall, I'm trying to get through it, and I'm hoping this post will help.

I've thought of myself before others.
I've considered myself better than others.
I've met others with skepticism.
I've engaged others with pretense.
I've thought judgment upon others.
I've spoken platitudes at others.
I've been insincere with others.
I've ignored the life of God in others.
I've ignored the love of God in others.
I've withheld myself from others.

I am sorry for these sins with all my heart. I have chosen to do wrong, and failed to do good. If I have made these sins against you, I ask your forgiveness. These sins have sneaked into me slowly, but they are real and clear - like worn stains under a full Light.

I'm assigning myself a personal penance - to resume the Daily Office. It's really amazing how much ten minutes of prayer twice a day can change the way I live and love.

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